For those of you who haven't been keeping up with my book updates on my "Projects" page, guess what! I finished writing my memoir (woo!). I say finished, which means that I have written all the stories I intend to include in the book but will continuously edit and revise it like a madwoman until the day I decide it is half-perfect and force myself to send it to agents.
At first, I thought the process of writing out my memories was the scary part. I was wrong - the scariest part of it is the thought of people reading it. "Really?!" you might be saying. "Why on earth did you write it, then?" you may ask.
I have been wanting to write this book for some time, and now that it is done, I am wrestling with the emotions surrounding the idea of publishing it. I will publish it, but just because I'm publishing it doesn't mean that I'm not terrified of the idea of putting my story out there. To have people form their own opinions of me and to encourage that by writing this book is a strange sort of masochism, if you ask me. My memoir is personal and revealing, and it's strange to think that people will pick it up, read it, and say, "So this is Rose."
But that's just it - it is me. Unapologetically me. The truth of my story. The reason I'm publishing it is because vulnerability and honesty are healing. Not only that, but those two things create connection. Who knows how many people stay silent because they think they're the only ones going through what they're going through, or because they are scared to share things that are overwhelmingly personal. If just one person reads my story and feels heard, or validated, or relieved that someone else knows what it's like, then I have succeeded.
It doesn't matter if my book isn't a bestseller. I'm not worried about that. Yes, I may daydream about getting a call from my publisher and hear them say, "Hey - big news!" but that's not the goal. My goal was to write my story, and I did. The next goal is to strip my story of its power over me by sharing it with the rest of the world.
I learned a lot about myself through writing my memoir: about shame, fear, trauma, and the like. I also learned many good things, healing things, that I am grateful for. If I hadn't written it out, I would not have learned these things. For those of you who are wrestling with the past, present, or future, whether or not you want to write a book, I highly recommend writing something down. You never know the lessons you may learn with a pen and paper in hand. Or a laptop keyboard, in my case.
If you’re interested in keeping up with the progress of publishing my book, don’t forget to subscribe at the bottom of this page!
Thank you to everyone for your wonderful encouragement in this process.
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